“that’s why I need the cat, protects my weed plants. I got 4 plants left guys it’s all I got left of my life. please let me have one cat to protect my plants.”
so I had a dream that these guys tried to come in our house and kill my family but we were secretly aliens so I shot all of them with my laser beam and then found out their sister was cute so we made out and then went to a huge party and brought my dog.
so in gym class today I played badminton against these two black girls and it’s gettin all competitive and one of them says “I’m gonna be so mad if we lose!” and I was like “well this is gonna be a bloodbath” and she thought I said “well this is gonna be a black problem.”
magic mushroom sandwich, gonna be a lovely night.
when a sentence doesn’t end the way you think it should. well what did you expect it then. amateur.
my math teacher looks like the pornstar james deen and I can’t stand it. how can you try to teach me math. I have seen you naked.
I got this candy heart today and I think it was supposed to say “kiss me” or something but it just said “me”. basically my life.
it’s such a weird feeling to want to make out with someone but not liking anyone in particular. like I’m try so hard to picture someone right now but it’s just not happening.
me = 95% sad 5% hungry
Deja Entendu
I want a friend that will eat my toast crust. I always just throw it out I could be so much more earth friendly.
I think I’m so tired my day blogging has become night blogging.
what if you just couldn’t take the world anymore and just started taking so many acne pills and downing them with vodka really dramatically. would you’re skin like die and go to heaven and be perfect.
my friend tweets “it wasn’t even stormy last night”. do you think this is a fucking game.
